Writing a Memoir

“Anyone who believes you can’t change history has never tried to write his memoirs.”    David Ben-Gurion

Q. I read your article a while back on writing a book. Since then, I’ve gone through my journals to see if they contained enough substance to write a memoir. A lot of it feels very personal. When is material too personal and when is it fit to be published? And, how much do you have to write for it to truly be a memoir? J.O.

A. Years ago, a writing teacher of mine gave me a distinction between journal writing and writing a memoir that I have passed on to many clients. When writing in a journal, most people write for themselves praying no one else will lay their eyes on a single page. When writing a memoir, though you are still writing about your experiences, you do with your reader in mind.

I won’t mention names, but a memoir written by a famous Hollywood personality was published a few years back. I love reading memoirs and purchased it while still in hardcover. After reading the first couple of chapters, I returned the book and more than ever understood what my writing teacher was referring to. I was sure that if this person had been anyone other than who she was the book would never have been picked up by a publisher nor made it to the shelves of major booksellers.  Reading it, I would hear my mind say, “Who cares?” I also was embarrassed for her. True, books enjoyed by some are often rejected by another; but this one was a doozy.

When writing a memoir, you wind up deleting a lot of the details in your journal that would be considered filler and start detailing the major experiences, feelings and events that make your life unique and interesting to read about. This of course goes for one you wish to publish. If you’re writing it for yourself or for your children and grandchildren, you might still want to edit quite a bit but you have much more leeway. My suggestion would be to read a few memoirs. See how they are written. See what grabs you and what puts you to sleep. Check out a few from the library. You don’t even have to read the whole book. Browse the table of contents and read bits and pieces of a few chapters.

Preparing to write a memoir can seem daunting. There are many ways to start. William Zinsser, author of How to Write a Memoir, suggests that you go to your desk on Monday morning and write about some event that’s still vivid in your memory. What you write doesn’t have to be long — three pages, five pages — but it should have a beginning and an end. Do the same thing Tuesday morning. Tuesday’s episode doesn’t have to be related to Monday’s episode. Take whatever memory comes calling; your subconscious mind, having been put to work, will start delivering your past. Do this for as long as it takes to collect the particular parts of your life you’d like to write about.

If you are planning to write about your life from your birth to present time, Author Cathy Fulton suggests creating lists. Here are a few of her ideas.
1. Keep an ongoing list of the crucial events that took place in each era of your life.
(Births, deaths, marriages, adventures, milestones, etc.)
2. List the friends and enemies you had during each era. Note the special relationships you had.
3. List all the jobs you held.
4. List your educational experiences from each era. (Life experiences count as education)
5. List the historical events and trends that shaped each era and the impact those events had on you.
6. Include all the geographical areas where you lived.
7. Your goals, aspirations, and dreams in each era.
8. The painful things that happened. Broken relationships, hopes dashed, abuse, fears.
9. List your accomplishments in each era. Writing about how you achieved each one is a story.

Let her list be a stimulus for creating one of your own. If you have a hard time remembering events, take a walk down memory lane with your photo albums. Those old photos will surely be a substantive catalyst. And you can always give yourself creative license where memory fails.

How many pages constitute a memoir? That is hard to judge. Again, you want to determine if it’s for your family or the public eye. The majority of published books are between 200 and 300 pages. Consider what you want to include, who it’s for, and then start to write. If you have more than you need for your first book, then you’ll be ahead of the game for your second volume.

Feel free to email Jasmyne with any questions or comments.

Jasmyne Boswell is a Life Coach, Writing Coach/editor and Marketing Consultant. For over 28 years she has been a mid-wife to professionals in all fields, helping them successfully overcome personal stumbling blocks and birth their businesses, practices, and projects. She uses her creative gift with the written word to help bring your ideas into form. Jasmyne can be reached at 808-268-5807 or by visiting www.jasmyneconsulting.com.